--- title: "EMDR for Grief and Loss | Siler City, NC" url: https://shepherds-he.art/specialties/emdr-for-grief description: "EMDR for grief in Siler City, NC. John is trained in EMDR and uses it within grief counseling after preparation, when the person is a good candidate." lang: en --- Skip to main content EMDR for Grief # EMDR for grief and loss. You may be grieving a person you love while one moment keeps coming back. The loss itself is painful, and then there is the memory that intrudes when you are trying to get through an ordinary day. For some people, EMDR may have a place in that work. John uses EMDR with grief inside a broader course of counseling, not as a way to erase the person, the relationship, or what they meant to you. Image: A warm living room corner with a wooden chair, a red throw, and an open book on a low table. (https://shepherds-he.art/__l5e/assets-v1/6dae8fa4-1bb8-44a8-a4e4-8b955073f8f0/hero-livingroom-hd.jpg) ## Grief comes first, not a technique. John sees grief in parents and teens "frequently, for a variety of reasons." The grief counseling (https://shepherds-he.art/specialties/grief-counseling) page describes the wider work: making room for what you have lost while life around you keeps moving. EMDR is one tool within that care. You may need time to talk about the loss, time to find your footing, or a different approach entirely. The decision follows you and what you are carrying, rather than a promise that a particular method will make grief easier. ## When a loss keeps replaying. A sudden or traumatic loss may leave moments that intrude. You might find yourself back in one part of what happened when you wanted to be somewhere else in your day. The memory may feel close even when time has passed. Grief and those repeated moments can sit alongside each other without being the same thing. For some people, EMDR may fit when a loss keeps replaying or particular moments remain distressing. That does not mean every painful memory needs processing, or that remembering the person is a problem to solve. It means there may be a specific part of the experience worth looking at together, carefully, within the wider grief work. ## Preparation before processing. John is trained in EMDR (not certified), as the EMDR therapy (https://shepherds-he.art/service/emdr-therapy) page explains. Being interested in EMDR is not the same as being ready for it. Preparation and stabilization come first, and the work moves toward processing only when you are a good candidate. John puts it this way: "This isn't hypnotism and reprogramming. It's your brain doing the work with a little guidance, and you have to be ready." You do not have to arrive ready to approach the hardest part of the loss. Readiness is something to assess together, not something you have to prove. The PTSD and trauma counseling (https://shepherds-he.art/service/ptsd-trauma-counseling) page explains the broader emphasis on stabilization and pacing. ## What to expect during and after EMDR. EMDR can bring up strong emotions and physical sensations, such as tension or nausea. After a session, memories may feel fresh, and your mood, dreams, or thoughts may be affected as processing continues. I'll check in with you throughout treatment and can slow down, pause, or help you get grounded if the work feels overwhelming. ## The person and the love remain. Wanting relief from a distressing moment does not mean wanting to forget the person. You may feel protective of your memories, including the painful ones, because they belong to a relationship that matters. That concern has a place in counseling too. EMDR does not erase the person or the love. The work is not about making the loss unimportant or telling you how you should feel about it. For some people, working with an intrusive part of the experience may be useful. There is no promised result and no requirement to turn grief into a story with a tidy ending. You can keep caring about someone while considering help with what keeps overwhelming you. ## In person or by video. EMDR and trauma work tend to go better in person at the start. Meeting at the Siler City office (https://shepherds-he.art/locations/siler-city) may be the better starting point while preparation and stabilization are taking shape. That preference is about the work, not a judgment about whether you should be able to manage it from home. Video can be an option for clients physically located in North Carolina at session time, once the preparation phase has been completed. On telehealth (https://shepherds-he.art/telehealth-north-carolina), bilateral stimulation is typically self-tapping or a screen-based tool. You and John can discuss whether that format fits your care rather than choosing it only because it is convenient. ## Deciding what fits. You do not need to know whether your grief counts as traumatic before talking with John. You can describe what keeps returning, what feels hard to approach, and what you hope counseling could help you carry. He can assess whether EMDR belongs in the plan or whether another part of grief counseling should come first. There is room for uncertainty. Considering EMDR does not commit you to processing before you are ready, and choosing another approach does not mean you are avoiding the work. The method follows the person, the timing, and the loss. ## How to start. Request a free 15-minute consultation and share, in general terms, what happened and what keeps coming back. John will be honest about whether EMDR fits now, later, or not at all, and where he would start. If you're ready to look at the format of the help, see EMDR therapy (https://shepherds-he.art/service/emdr-therapy) or PTSD & trauma counseling (https://shepherds-he.art/service/ptsd-trauma-counseling). Not sure where to start? Request a free 15-minute consultation (https://shepherds-he.art/contact) and we'll figure it out together. FAQ ## Common questions. ### Will EMDR make me forget the person I lost? No. EMDR does not erase the person or the love. It may help some people work with distressing moments that keep replaying, inside a broader course of grief counseling. It is not a promise to remove grief. ### Is EMDR right for every kind of grief? No. John assesses whether you are a good candidate. EMDR is one tool within grief counseling, after preparation and stabilization, and another approach may be a better fit for you or for the timing of the work. ### Can EMDR for grief happen by video? Yes, for clients physically located in North Carolina at session time, once the preparation phase is complete. Bilateral stimulation on telehealth is typically self-tapping or a screen-based tool. EMDR and trauma work tend to go better in person at the start, so discuss the right format with John. Related services ## How this work usually gets done. ### EMDR Therapy A research-based therapy method for resolving trauma, anxiety, or distressing memories without needing to relive the pain. Learn more → https://shepherds-he.art/service/emdr-therapy ### PTSD & Trauma Counseling Gentle, trauma-informed care for those seeking healing from past experiences that still affect the present. Learn more → https://shepherds-he.art/service/ptsd-trauma-counseling ### Individual Therapy Personalized therapy for adults navigating anxiety, trauma, depression, grief, or life transitions. Learn more → https://shepherds-he.art/service/individual-therapy Next step ## Ready to try something that works? A free 15-minute consultation. Send a request and John will get back to you with times that actually work — no pressure, no forms up front. Request a Free Consultation: https://shepherds-he.art/contact ## Structured data ```json [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://shepherds-he.art/#website", "url": "https://shepherds-he.art", "name": "Shepherd's Heart Counseling", "publisher": { "@id": "https://shepherds-he.art/#clinic" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": [ "LocalBusiness", "MedicalBusiness" ], "@id": "https://shepherds-he.art/#clinic", "name": "Shepherd's Heart Counseling, PLLC", "url": "https://shepherds-he.art", "email": "jmurphy@shepherds-he.art", "telephone": "(828) 691-0218", "priceRange": "$$", "medicalSpecialty": "Psychiatric", "sameAs": [ "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/shepherd-s-heart-counseling-pllc-siler-city-nc/1355871" ], "availableLanguage": [ { "@type": "Language", "name": "English" } ], "serviceType": [ "Parent Coaching", "Parent Counseling", "Children's Counseling", "Teen Counseling", "Behavioral Coaching", "Individual Therapy", "PTSD & Trauma Counseling", "EMDR Therapy", "Psychotherapy" ], "paymentAccepted": "Credit Card, HSA, FSA, Aetna, Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina", "provider": { "@id": "https://shepherds-he.art/about#john" }, "address": { "@type": "PostalAddress", "streetAddress": "209 S 2nd Ave", "addressLocality": "Siler City", "addressRegion": "NC", "postalCode": "27344", "addressCountry": "US" }, "geo": { "@type": "GeoCoordinates", "latitude": 35.72214, "longitude": -79.46113 }, "areaServed": [ { "@type": "City", "name": "Siler City" }, { "@type": "City", "name": "Pittsboro" }, { "@type": "City", "name": "Goldston" }, { "@type": "City", "name": "Bear Creek" }, { "@type": "City", "name": "Bonlee" }, { "@type": "City", "name": "Asheboro" }, { "@type": "City", "name": "Ramseur" }, { "@type": "City", "name": "Sanford" }, { "@type": "City", "name": "Liberty" }, { "@type": "AdministrativeArea", "name": "Chatham County" }, { "@type": "State", "name": "North Carolina" } ], "employee": { "@id": "https://shepherds-he.art/about#john" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "@id": "https://shepherds-he.art/about#john", "name": "John C. Murphy", "honorificSuffix": "MA, LCMHC", "jobTitle": "Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor", "worksFor": { "@id": "https://shepherds-he.art/#clinic" }, "sameAs": [ "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/shepherd-s-heart-counseling-pllc-siler-city-nc/1355871", "https://instagram.com/sheperdsheartcounseling", "https://linkedin.com/in/john-murphy-ma-lcmhc-781966156" ], "hasCredential": { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "credentialCategory": "license", "identifier": "15133", "name": "North Carolina LCMHC License #15133", "recognizedBy": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "North Carolina Board of Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselors" } } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://shepherds-he.art" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Specialties", "item": "https://shepherds-he.art/specialties" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "EMDR for Grief and Loss", "item": "https://shepherds-he.art/specialties/emdr-for-grief" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "name": "EMDR for Grief and Loss", "description": "EMDR for grief in Siler City, NC. John is trained in EMDR and uses it within grief counseling after preparation, when the person is a good candidate.", "url": "https://shepherds-he.art/specialties/emdr-for-grief", "provider": { "@id": "https://shepherds-he.art/#clinic" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "North Carolina" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "Will EMDR make me forget the person I lost?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "No. EMDR does not erase the person or the love. It may help some people work with distressing moments that keep replaying, inside a broader course of grief counseling. It is not a promise to remove grief." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Is EMDR right for every kind of grief?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "No. John assesses whether you are a good candidate. EMDR is one tool within grief counseling, after preparation and stabilization, and another approach may be a better fit for you or for the timing of the work." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Can EMDR for grief happen by video?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes, for clients physically located in North Carolina at session time, once the preparation phase is complete. Bilateral stimulation on telehealth is typically self-tapping or a screen-based tool. EMDR and trauma work tend to go better in person at the start, so discuss the right format with John." } } ] } ] ```