Signs your child or teen may need counseling.

How long, how much, and what it's costing.

Duration, intensity, and function are a useful starting point. How long has this been going on? A few bad days is different from a pattern that has lasted more than a few weeks. How big is the reaction compared with what's actually happening? And is it starting to keep your child from things they need to do, like going to school, sleeping, eating, or seeing friends?

If the answer to all three points the wrong way, something has likely moved past ordinary stress, and it's worth getting a professional read.

Moodiness or something more.

Ordinary moodiness comes and goes. Depression tends to stay. If for more than two weeks your child or teen has lost interest in things they used to enjoy, is sleeping or eating very differently, is pulling away from friends, or says things that sound hopeless, a careful assessment is warranted. In teens, depression often shows up as irritability and boredom rather than sadness. The teen depression page describes what that can look like.

Signs that hide in plain sight.

Some struggles don't look like struggles. Anxiety can show up as stomachaches with no medical cause, a sudden refusal to go to school or practice, irritability, or a lot of energy spent avoiding things your child used to handle. Anger can be fear wearing a louder coat. The teen anxiety and school refusal pages go deeper.

Where the struggle shows up matters too. If your child holds it together at school and unravels at home, that's useful information, and it often points toward what's happening in the household. If they're struggling in both places, looping in the school and possibly an assessment may make sense.

Signs that shouldn't wait.

Some signs call for help now, not after a few more weeks of watching. Talk of not wanting to be here, self-harm, or statements of hopelessness or self-hatred need a same-day response. Ask directly and calmly. A direct question does not plant the idea; silence is what protects it.

If your teen is in immediate danger, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or go to the nearest emergency department. A therapist can be part of what comes next, but a therapist cannot be the emergency response.

When a formal evaluation might help.

If you're wondering about ADHD, autism, or a learning difficulty, a formal evaluation is a separate service, typically provided by a psychologist or developmental specialist. John doesn't provide that testing or a formal diagnosis of those conditions. What he can do is talk through what you're seeing at home and help you decide whether an evaluation is worth pursuing, and where to go for one. The ADHD parent support page explains how that works for ADHD in particular.

Why starting with you can be the fastest step.

It can feel strange to call a therapist about your child and end up talking about yourself. But the parent is often the person with the most leverage at home. Depending on your child's age and what's going on, the work may be mostly with you, with your child, or both, through formats like children's counseling, teen counseling, or parent coaching.

If you're still not sure.

You don't need to be certain before you reach out. A free 15-minute consultation is a low-stakes way to describe what you're seeing and get an honest opinion about whether it's time to start, and with whom. You can request one through the contact page.